Little Ronnie and Big Shirley, Sittin In a Tree...

It's been awhile that I've been doing this now, and I really don't like the idea of naming anyone by their Christian name for obvious reasons, but I think a name must be assigned to the Fearless Afternoon Bus Leader.  I have chosen Big Mama--  because she's big, and she's much like a mama to all of us on Bus 407.

So, having cleared that up, it's no stretch to say that Big Mama made up for the doldrums she left us in by not riding the bus on Friday with her entertaining banter Monday afternoon!  I've spent the last 2 days trying to figure out how to properly package the dialog from the bus Monday, and there's just no way to do it justice.  You had to be there.  But, since you weren't and I was, I'll break it down like this:

Apparently the small framed, older black man that rides near the front of the bus is named Little Ronnie.  Oops, I said I wasn't naming names.  Oh well.  And, as it turns out, he is in a relationship, possibly marriage, with a presumably large woman named Big Shirley.  When I entered the bus I walked in with the action already in progress, so I have no idea what sparked the debate, but Big Mama was accusing Little Ronnie of not working anymore because he told his boss off.  According to Little Ronnie that was not the situation at all, "I git my money on the first and the third and that's the way I like it!" 
Big Mama, "You git your money on the first and third??  Big SHIRLEY gits yo money on the first and third!"
A helpless dirty look from Little Ronnie, tempered with a good natured smile.
And she continued, "But choo better stick WIT Big Shirley-- you don want her mad--  she can TAKE you!"
Howls throughout the bus, and to my great surprise, many looks my way to see what I think of the entertainment...  I think my uncontrollable laughter put them at ease.
"In fact, I could take you--  I slap you up so hard you'll plump up to 50 pounds!!"
I was most impressed by this barb, and made a mental note to use it if ever in a verbal match with someone smaller than me...
And then, the only shot Little Ronnie could think to volley back: "She about yo size!"
A good comeback, I'll admit, but only if used once.
"MY size-- Little Ronnie you WRONG fo dat!  She so big you can't even take her to Golden Corral, they got her picture up on the CASH register!!"
Quiet youngster in the Popeye's uniform next to me shakes his head, looks up at me with, "She doin him dirty..."
The shots continued from Big Mama, with only the response, "She about yo size" coming from Little Ronnie, again and again, until finally he had had enough...
"STOP THE BUS!  I'll WALK the rest of the way!!"

The last round of laughter came when we saw Litle Ronnie's good nature tested one last time as he tripped on his way off the bus...

I was still laughing at the simple, uncomplicated joy we all shared, even Little Ronnie, by the time I made it to the BRATS bus at Bienville Square.  Make no mistake, even with his clumsy departure, Little Ronnie felt just fine being the butt of the jokes--  the folks on that bus are just that familiar.  And I love it.

I rode through downtown Mobile, onto the interstate and across the Bay hearing, "...so different than working in the private sector..." and "...the tax structure overseas provides for..." and "...no, we play at Lakewood this week..."

I feel like I am the only one to fully appreciate the toothpaste and orange juice sensation here.  I find it absolutley delicious!